GermanyXReader~1Soldier better than400 doctors (2)

You looked around you confused, green, healthy looking grass was everywhere and in the backround there were high mountains, you could see a big tree with green leaves and under it there were four people. The warm air was hitting your face, giving you a good feeling. Wanting to see normal people you walked closer to the family that was under the tree.
A very beautiful woman was sitting calmly, she had shoulder length blonde hair, chocolate brown eyes, slightly tanned skin and very warm smile, next to her a man with black messy hair and deep blue eyes, he had fair skin and was looking at, you supposed his wife, with a loving expression. There were another two girls sitting there, one of them was around eleven years old with short blonde hair, like her mother, and deep blu eyes, like his father, her skin was slightly tanned and she was giggling softly. Next to her was a girl who looked around five years old, she had long (h/c) hair, that was in a braid, big and beautiful (e/c) eyes that looked so bright and alive, she had fair skin and was holding in her chubby little hands a white teddy bear.
Your eyes were suddenly fixed on the teddy bear, that looked very familiar, suddenly the teddy bear started to change, slight cuts appearing on it, it started looking old and an ear went missing. The warm air that had been earlier caressing your face was now cold and making your face freeze. You looked up to see the little girl that had been earlier holding the teddy bear, expecting a sight that would comfort you, but you didn't see the little girl, in her place you saw a teenager, aroun eighteen years old, her long hair, that was cautiously combed before, was now messy and without any shine to it. Her skin looked paler than before and she did not show the slight desire to smile at all, you also realized that she was way thinner than before, as if she hadn't eaten in several days, her before chubby little hands were know slender with long fingers that looked skeletic and her nails were clearly too long, but what scared you the most about her was her eyes, you remembered those big (e/c) eyes that looked so bright and alive, now dull without light in them, they looked like the eyes of a corpse, totally dead.
You looked away, not finding enough strenth in you to keep looking, instead you decided to look at the other girl. She now looked around fifteen years old, her hair longer and curly, her hands were covering her face and you could hear loud sobs. She was next to the young couple you had seen before, but they no longer existed as you remembered them, the man and the woman with the warm smiles and loving looks were now resting dead in the ground, their hands joined together as a promise of eternal love.
Your heart felt as if it had been stabbed, it hurt so bad and you didn't know why, you heard people die almost every week, why would it affect you so much now? You couldn't stop yourself and went running to the girl with the blonde hair. You put a hand in her shoulder trying to comfort her when everything changed, you were no longer in the field with the green grass, but in the living room of a house. The girl with the teddy bear changed her aspect, for a second she looked around ten years old and then dissappeared and now there weren't two corpses, but three, the one you didn't recognise was wearing something that covered his face and had a bullet wound on his chest, while the beautiful woman had a deep wound on her neck and the loving man a even deeper wound in his stomach. The blonde girl pushed you away and you saw her face. Despair, sadness, sorrow and lastly hatred flashed through her blue eyes.
"How could you?!?!" She screamed full of rage. You didn't understand anything. "How could you kill mother and father?! Why?! What did they do?!" You felt tears start falling from your eyes, you didn't understand, you didn't do anything! Flashes passed through your mind, the man with his face covered cutting the woman's neck, the man with the blue eyes crying holding her hand, the other one with the covered face stabbing him in the stomach and lastly your trembling hands pulling the trigger of a gun, shooting the man with covered face right in the heart.
"I didn't do it!" You yelled back.
"Liar!" She said and then she slapped you hard across the face, your eyes widened. You looked up with your eyes still wide and more tears running down your face. The girl's eyes were wide too and her hand was trembling.... Then the darkness consumed everything...

~~~~~~~

You woke up screaming, your hands balled into fist, your nails dgging into your skin drawing out blood. Your eyes were wide with pure terror and tears fell from your eyes. You heard foot steps from the hallway.
Nurses rushed into your room, your screaming never stopped, they held you down and injected something in your arm. Your eyelids started to feel heavy and your breathing became normal again. The last thing you saw before blacking out was Dr. Beilschmidt...

~~~~~~~

Your eyes opened when you heard a sudden sound, you sat up on your bed and looked at the door. There you saw Dr. Beilschmidt, he was looking at you with a sympathethic look, in that moment your heart flutter, never had your doctors looked at you like that. They looked at you with fake smiles and mostly hatred, they hated you, because you weren't normal, because they couldn't wash your brain and make you think the things they wanted you to think, they wanted you to be another puppet of society and act like everybody, but you couldn't, you weren't normal and even though each one of them said you were too stubborn, and you were worthless, you couldn't be helped at all you wanted, desired, hoped, wished to be normal, to be like everybody. You didn't want people to look at you with a disgusted look, 'Hey look! It's the insane girl who killed her own parents and an innocent life!' if they knew... You didn't kill your parents! You just killed the man, who wasn't innocent at all, and you only did it out of fear he would kill you and your sister too. This satanic place made you think you did kill your parents, and you couldn't defend yourself, you didn't talk about the incident, you couldn't, it was to hard. You saw that Dr. Beilschmidt had a notepad in his hand, the same one he had in the same visit, you suppossed this time he didn't try to hide it because you didn't really care about it that much.
"Dr. Beilschmidt" You said softly, your throat hurt, probably because of your screaming session after your nightmare.
"___________" He said with a nod. "I vanted to ask you some questions" He said, you nodded your head slightly, signaling him to continue. "You voke up screaming last night... Do you remember vhat vas your dream about?" He asked.
"Yes" You said in a low voice. He nodded and wrote something down.
"So... vhat happened in your dream?" He asked cautously, as if expecting you to break down. Your dull eyes looked into his and a bit of sorrow appeared in your eyes for a moment.
"I do not feel comfortable talking about it, Dr. Beilschmidt, I would really appreciate if you didn't ask about it" You said respectfully. He sighed.
"Look, I know it must have been horrible, mostly because you voke up screaming and crying, but if you don't tell me I cannot help you" He pressured you. You couldn't take it, you were so fragil at the moment and he was forcing you to answer his stupid questions?
"Dr. Beilschmidt, I would like you to get out of my room"
"No"
"Get out"
"You shouldn't talk like zhat tu your doctor"
"Look..." An idea popped in your mind, you didn't have to tell him, he could simply find out. It was weird that you actually have never thought about it before. "In my house... My old house, the one I used to live in, there were security cameras all over the house... You could try to find the video tape when... the incident happened, yes, my dream was about that. Now please leave the room" You said, looking down. Ludwig looked at you and then nodded.
"Thank you for making it easier _______." He said and left the room. You looked at the little table beside your bed and at the teddy bear. You father bought it for you a long time ago. Your hands worked on their own and reached to get the teddy bear. You hugged it closely to your chest as tears started falling from your eyes.
"Mommy, daddy, Sam... I-I miss you so much" You said and started sobbing, you hadn't even touched that teddy bear since you were fourteen years old, sad memories will always fill your mind whenever you looked at it, but... it was the only one left, the only family you had. Samantha, your sister was probably too scared of you to ever come back to you, and your parents were... gone, gone forever. You cried harder hugging your teddy bear. You didn't like being alone.

--Time skip. To Ludwig and ???--

Ludwig waited patiently in his office, yes his own office, he had gain one, after all he made you show a facial expression. He was waiting for someone he had called this morning, after he visited you. He heard a knock in the dorr and rushe to it, opening it slightly.
"Dr. Beilschmidt?" Asked a woman, she had long blonde hair, deep blue eyes and slightly tanned skin, she had a look of worry in her eyes, maybe thinking something may had happened to her sister. You always thought that she had left you alone forever, but she hadn't, she would call almost daily to see how you were doing. She was your older sister, Samantha ________ (Last name). "Please don't quit! I don't think she could handle if other doctor went away! I don't think I can handle it if another doctor tells me she ios worthless! Please, please!" SHe burst out, tears on her eyes, but she didn't let them fall. She was a very beautiful woman, but looked the total opposite from you, you would try to keep your emotions to yourself while she was pleading for help.
"I'm not going to quit miss, I just vanted to ask for your help" Ludwig said moving aside so the woman could enter.
"M-my help?" She asked a bit dumbfounded, it was the first time someone called to tell her they wanted help, instead of saying they were going to quit and that you were worthless and worrying on you was a waste of time. Samantha was six years older than you and she was married, she also had a baby boy called Alfred, she had a life, a really happy one, but she would never be happy until you get out of that place. She would alwasy talk about you to her husband, Arthur, and to his baby. She wished you could get out of there and meet your nephew and brother-in-law.
"Yes, she doesn't vant to talk about the incident, but she told me somezhing very interesting" Said Ludwig. Samnatha was looking at him, interested in everything he had to say.
"And what might that be?" She asked.
"She said zhat in zhe house vhere she used to live zhere vere cameras, I vould like to see the video tape of vhen the... incident happened" Samantha looked down rather sad.
"You could go find it if you want... but I cannot go with you, that house gives me nightmares... You can't imagine what I had to see when I was sixteen years old" She said looking at the ground.
"I inderstand" Said Ludwig, he decided he was going to help you, no matter what.